SO this post was supposed to go up on Monday – but due to some unforeseen circumstances, today had to do. I hesitated writing about what has been going on in our lives the last little bit, but I am going to share the not so pretty parts of my life – the ones you don’t all see on my Instagram/social media.
Monday was probably one of the worst days of my life. Addi fell and got a concussion. It was so scary, and I never have felt more guilt and sadness than I did watching my baby in pain. We were all sitting eating lunch at the kitchen table in our summer rental, when Addi was sat in her booster seat, strapped in, and decided she was done. She pushed herself away from the table (something she has never done before) and the cheap, thin, metal framed chairs that we were provided with, gave way and she fell backwards. Strapped in, that was a long fall. The back of the metal chair was right at the back of her skull and was what her head hit as the chair fell back to the floor. She screamed and cried instantly – and I tried to console her. Neither Joel and I could reach her fast enough to stop it from happening – it was like I saw it in slow motion. Within minutes she calmed, but then became so drowsy and started to pass out on me. A million things were going through my mind when she fell.. was her spine ok? How hard did she hit her head? Is anything broken? Did she have some sort of whiplash? I felt sick that my baby was hurt and that she got hurt under my watch. After she started to doze off, she suddenly woke up and began to throw up – she ended up throwing up 4 times total before we saw a doctor. She started acting more like her normal self, but was so dozy and fussy still. The doctor checked her, and said she for sure had a concussion, but they didn’t think she needed a CT scan. I just had to watch her carefully for the rest of the day, and wake her every 30 minutes of her naps. I left feeling so stressed and not at ease whatsoever. I had a paper with any warning signs that I should bring her back in, and I tried my best to look for those signs all day. By the time we got home she was a happy girl, she had a bath, ate a snack, watched her favorite Barney episode and drank a bottle. She wouldn’t nap, and I was okay with that because I just wanted to hold her all day and make sure she was fine! By the evening she was acting strange again, and had a high temperature/fever – one of the warning signs. I took her back into emerg to have her checked again just in case – I don’t think I could have lived with myself if there was truly something wrong and I never went with my instinct. So off we went, and my hubby came and met us. She was so good while she was poked and prodded – and was a little character making the doctors laugh. They concluded that she didn’t have a fractured skull, and it was just a bump and a super hard fall. The fever was most likely a separate thing – which was what happened, she now has a viral cold that developed overnight – we were up until 6am dealing with that too. I laid in the bed next to her playpen, wide awake, trying to listen to her breathe and watch stir while she slept. After this experience, it just made me realize that I can be the most over cautious, protective, paranoid mom and things can still happen that are out of your control. Accidents happen. I can only be grateful for her health and that she is okay. It’s times like these that put things into perspective and make me want to never take for granted my family’s health.
Prior to this incident, I had so many other worries on my mind. The day before I left to come here for the summer, we found black mould in our 5 year old home. It was growing in our bonus room, and I felt so sad and sick inside that my little family had been breathing that in for who knows how long. We now have found out its spread and our upstairs is in need of massive renovations – even the exterior of our house. I was so worked up over all of this, instead of thinking of the blessing that we were able to be out of the house with a place to live while all of this is going on! I think it’s funny how sometimes life can hand you certain things, to humble you and give you some more insight. Both of these experiences have given me a more positive outlook and have allowed me to not take things for granted, like our health, or the roof over our heads, and instead cherish it.
Anyways, sorry for that long story – but I did want to share. I think sometimes life can seem perfect, but we all go through things, and life ain’t always grand! I appreciate all the support I get from each of you – through the good and the bad.