Gown: James Fox Co c/o
Where to begin… It has been two months and three days since our sweet boy, Beckett Joel graced us with his presence. Life has felt so crazy busy since that day, and we have been soaking in each and every moment of his newborn stage. Here’s the story of how we welcomed our little guy into the world!
It was a rainy Saturday night, and I had been feeling so weird the previous couple of days. Oddly enough, that Saturday afternoon I had my dad grab my hospital bag from out of my car just so I could double check it, and add a few things on my checklist. I kept wanting to sleep and go to bed super early the last two nights (so not like me – I am SUCH a night owl). We were staying at my parents place waiting for our new house to be finished, and constantly joked about “what if he came early and we had him while we were staying here”.. well I guess the joke was on us, because that is what happened! It was December 12th (2.5 weeks before my due date). I went to bed before everyone else did and slept solid until about 4am.. I woke up to take my usual trip to the washroom and after as I laid there, I couldn’t fall back asleep because I felt like I was having mild contractions. I could barely tell if that was for sure what was going on, but I instantly felt SO anxious and like I wasn’t ready for some reason. My brain wouldn’t turn off and I just kept thinking is this really happening now? Our house wasn’t ready, I hadn’t done a nursery for him, we were staying with my parents, Christmas was two weeks away and I hadn’t finished my shopping.. I did not know if I was ready for this to be really happening!
By 5am I felt the light contractions coming and going, so I got up out of bed and decided I needed to shower, shave my legs, wash my hair and do my make-up (don’t judge – I literally am so weird when I go into labor haha). After getting showered and ready, I went and had a bowl of cereal and painted my nails while watching murder shows on Netflix. By this time the contractions felt pretty strong and both my parents and Joel were up and so antsy with me. With Addi, I had such a quick labor and nearly missed out on getting an epidural, I got to the hospital and was already 7cm and got my epidural at 10cm (read her story here) – so I wanted to get there ASAP to be able to try to relax and get some pain relief before it got crazy!
Around 7am my contractions were getting closer together and stronger, I felt like it was time to head to the hospital. I felt so emotional leaving the house because Addi was sleeping still and I wasn’t going to be able to say goodbye and the next time I would see her, she would be a big sister. You can bet I was bawling as we drove to the hospital! Once there, we chatted with the nurse (who was absolutely amazing btw) and she decided to check to see how dilated I was…to our surprise I was only just over 1cm – I couldn’t believe it! Of course by that time my contractions had also slowed down and I was feeling fine again. So, back home we went. I felt pretty miserable being that I had been up since 4am and it was around 9am, so I got home and went back to sleep. It didn’t last long because my contractions were back and pretty strong. I just laid in bed and watched some more murder shows on Netflix and was breathing through the pain. Poor Addi wanted so badly to be with me, but I also didn’t want her to see me in pain and be confused – so I only got to spend a little time with her when the contractions were far enough apart. After some napping and hanging out with pretty consistent contractions – I laid Addi down for her nap, held her in my arms and sang her a little song. I was crying as I did this, and it was like she knew my mixed emotions, she literally raised her head from snuggling on my shoulder and took her soother out and kissed me repeatedly 5 times in a row. My nerves calmed, and I just felt such peace as I laid her down, she knew how to reassure her mama (she is literally the most sensitive little soul). After that, my mom made me some cream of wheat (porridge) because I was feeling so sick and in pain at this point and knew I needed to eat something before I couldn’t for a long time… I barely could eat at all, and was so on edge walking around the house, just trying to breathe through the pain. At around 3:30pm I decided it was time to head back to the hospital because the contractions were strong and close together again. We headed there, and this time I knew it was for real and our baby boy would be here soon!
When we got there, the same nurse from our first visit was on, and got us settled. She checked me again to make sure I was dilated enough to be admitted and surprisingly I had made it to 5cm! It was such good news to hear. Right of the bat I let her know I would like the epidural – sooner than later. I knew because of how fast my labor progressed with Addi, that I would only have a short window (most likely) to get one. She encouraged me to walk around a bit more and use the laughing gas to get through some of the contractions. After a couple laps up and down the hallway, she let us know the anesthesiologist would be by within 30 mins. I was so relieved because at this point the laughing gas was my best friend! I was actually so nervous this time for the epidural. Last time, I was already in so much pain and so near pushing that it almost didn’t matter, but this time I was so much more aware and calm that I was scared! The anesthesiologist came and he was truly the sweetest man – it hurt me a bit and my contractions were quite strong during it all. I felt relief instantly once I had the epidural, and at this point I was at 6cm. The doctor who was going to deliver Beckett finally came and introduced himself (of course I hadn’t met him yet – that was my same luck as with Addi). He was a quiet, soft spoken man, but I instantly felt at ease in knowing he would be who was delivering our sweet boy. By the time the epidural kicked in and we were just hanging out, it was around 530 or 6ish. Everything was going great, but my dilation had definitely slowed down – my nurse was pretty sad that I wouldn’t likely be having baby boy before her shift ended! I was anxious that they would have to somehow intervene to pick up the pace, but I was just hoping and praying my labor would continue to progress on its own.
It was after 7pm, and my first nurse, who I loved SO much had gone home, and my new nurse (who was also so wonderful) let me know that they were going to break my water in the next bit. After breaking my water around 830pm, everything started going pretty fast. We literally had such a chill time from the moment I got my epidural, to when I was going to be pushing, our nurse stayed in the room to monitor and visit with us. I went from 8-10cm in that last hour. Finally she checked me and I was at 10! I started having that sensation to push, and knew it was time. The doctor came in and I began pushing at 9:40pm. This time felt so different than with Addi, I literally was pushing so hard and felt like nothing was happening. Joel and my nurse were so calm and just kept encouraging me that with each push progress was being made – it was so quiet and dim in the room that I asked the nurse to put on the radio.. I was overthinking and started to feel SO anxious as I was pushing. Joel told me I had this moment of panic when I realized I was still able to feel his head coming out, and I started wailing in pain. I don’t know if it was because I went from feeling pretty mild contractions, to absolutely nothing, to his head coming out, but for some reason, the pain seemed greater than what I had remembered it being like when I had Addilyn. The doctor calmly asked me to slow down and ease off pushing because he was right there. I barely could control it anymore or hold back, and before I knew it Beckett Joel came into this world at 10:14 pm. He weighed 7lbs 9oz and was 20 inches long. At 2.5 weeks early, I was grateful he came when he did, or I would’ve been pushing out a much bigger baby!! Seeing his little face for the first time made my heart grow even more than I ever knew it could. That was my boy. The sweet face I had been dreaming about meeting for the last 9 months. I felt more pain this time at the actual birth, and almost was in shock afterwards that it hurt me as much as it did, but being able to hold him and meet that sweet face made me forget about it pretty fast. After some skin-on-skin time, they took him and Joel was able to cut his umbilical cord! I had 2nd degree tears again, so I had to be stitched up after delivering the placenta. Overall it went very smoothly, and I do feel so grateful that both of my deliveries have gone as well as they have! As we laid sat in the hospital room with our baby boy sleeping beside us, we felt those exact feelings we had when welcoming our Addi girl. The purest form of love there ever is. We both could hardly sleep that night and instead kept staring and admiring our second sweet miracle we brought into this world.
The next morning my mom brought Addilyn to the hospital, and having her meet Beckett was another moment we will absolutely cherish forever. The instant she met him, she was and still is obsessed. She is such a little mommy and helps tend him always! We feel so blessed and beyond grateful to have two beautiful, healthy babies. These last two months have been the most amazing and also most challenging of our lives, but we are embracing the sleepless nights, double duty diaper changes and adjusting to being a family of four!
Swaddle & Hat: KB Cute Designs c/0
Thank you all so much for your kind words and congratulations. We read each and every comment, and appreciate all of your support!!
Joel, Amaris, Addilyn & Beckett xo