Hi loves! I finally found a free moment to sit down and blog a look I wore a while back when Joel was still here. It’s so funny because these last 5 weeks as a single mama, I have had such a struggle with balance. Balancing life in general. Figuring out what needs to be a priority vs. something I can put on the back burner. It has been so hard for me to make the decisions I have had to make, and the type A in me stays up way too late at night mulling it all over in my head. I have had to let go of my blog, answering emails, comments etc. – things which are important to me, in order to focus on maintaining my household and my sanity. I was chatting with a neighbour the other night, and she really helped me see that this is just right now and it isn’t permanent.
Essentially I feel like I had to put things like my kids (obviously), a clean home, and some days even a nap ahead of my blog/business. Though it has been a hard choice, it has been what I needed in order to get through these weeks without Joel here or much help! I have felt so much guilt when it has come to not engaging or being as present whether on my blog/emails/social media – and I think it’s just this cloud of pressure over my head. Personally, at the end of the night, I need to go to bed with a perfectly tidy home, laundry done and put away, no dishes in my sink and two bathed and tended babies in order for me to rest easy and wake up ready to take on another day! This might not be all mamas, and some might put that stuff at the end of their own list, it’s just those things help me make it through each day and sleep better at night. I am blabbing on about all of this just because of my conversation with my friend and what I finally realized amongst what have felt like the hardest 5 weeks of my life!
I wanted to open up about this a little and share my heart – because truly I might post pretty pictures and a small glimpse into our days, but it is never just sunshine and daisies over here!! I think as mamas we are all just trying to do our best, and that’s what counts.
I just wanted to thank each of you who send sweet emails, messages and comments – and who continue to support me! I love each and every one of you. I am sure when we move to be with Joel at the end of June, I will be able to get back into the swing of things a little more! I hope you’re all having the best week, and happy June!!